THE FUTURE SYNDROME
One of my greatest fear is to look back later in life with a void in my heart and asking myself "what is it that I missed"? "I have everything, but it seems like I have nothing"? The fear to question my existence. The fear I've once lived in. I dread that feeling returning to me ever again.
In the year 2020, I turned thirteen. I've always wanted to be thirteen since when I realised that you're considered an actual teenager when you're on ages that ends with 'teen'. Thir(teen). why I so much reveled in the thought of becoming a teenager, I don't know, but looking back, I could say it was because I was much younger in age and in size than most of my peers/mates. And then after an unsatisfactory thirteen, I began to look forward to 'Sweet Sixteen' and the things I wanted to do at that age, that I forgot I was meant to live age fourteen and fifteen. And when I become sixteen, the realisation dawned on me that I'd only ever keep wanting. I'd only ever keep looking forward to... It's somewhat a sad a part of life, a part of life that we shouldn't drown ourselves in. When I realised this, it made so much sense, having that I've been through it myself... Did I say 'been'? Having that I'm going through it myself. Unfortunately, the future syndrome is a trap that holds us in a never-ending cycle of pursuit.
Once upon a time the wish at the top of my endless columns of 'goals' is to gain admission into the university. I was ready to do anything to achieve that, the same way I'm ready to do anything to graduate now. My dream used to be my first year, and now it's my final year. What about the middle years?
In essence, this little saga of mine brings me to the door of the room to my realisations on the topic 'The future syndrome' and how it can lead us to miss out on precious moments of our lives.
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The FUTURE is our tomorrow, today is our PRESENT, and yesterday is our PAST. As a normal person, are you one hundred percent certain of what will happen in your literal tomorrow? Be it in situations you can and cannot control. Because there are endless situations conforming to the bearings of life that exceeds our discretion. Fact is, the future is not guaranteed, and the present moment is all we truly have. Then why does the future have all and all of our focus, to the extent that we forget to be present in the present.
"The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments"- Thich Naht Hanh.
As humans, we'll keep wanting, our wants are insatiable. We're constantly looking forward to the next milestone or achievement, feeling like we're not quite "there" yet, that we forget to appreciate our present-day achievement or notice the fact that what we have in our present was probably once our prayer request. We don't suck in the moment, but rather we keeping telling ourselves that there is more, there is more, there is more. More, more, more, more, more... Till we get to a crossroad or hit a point of reflection (like I did) and we start questioning ourselves and wanting to reform. Oh yes! there's always room for change, but time does not REGRESS!
"Happiness is not ready-made, it comes from your own actions" Dalai Lama XIV.
It's all depends on us to choose what path we take to happiness. Is it to love yourself now in order to love yourself better in the future? Or is it to prioritise the future and be in a constant battle with burn outs. I repeat, tomorrow is not guaranteed, so choose your path. I used to say "what's gonna be, will be" but in retrospect, "what's gonna be, depends on me". Our actions will set us on our directions.
My present is living each day like it's my last and striving to be happy. Quite sentimental, I know. But yours could be loving yourself the way you are now, before trying to love someone else (Dating). Enjoying your learning process and appreciating the opportunities you have now instead of focusing of graduating (academics). It could be enjoying the present moment by gifting yourself those things you've always wanted instead of focusing on saving for the future(Finances). It could be physically, spiritually, with friendships, personal growth. It goes in different areas. We should know that the happiest people do not have the best of everything, they just make the best of anything.
Let's make conscious effort to enjoy the journey and appreciate the little things. Relish the moment because you only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough. In fact, today, buy yourself something. Anything.
Thanks for reading!
I love you all 💙
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